My encounter with Sumiko Tan

I have always yearned for somebody who shares the depth of my thoughts, my introspection.

I muse about life, human beings, and psychology; I even call myself the mindofminds.

Sumiko never failed to enchant me in her columns. When I met her in person, she charmed me once more, this time though, with her looks. It was probably her goldfish eyes, petite frame, and her soft demeanour.

I felt I had to say hi.

But my courage deserted me. I started hiding behind excuses – ‘she is with a friend’, ‘I’ll go over once she is alone’, ‘she seems tired’, ‘I didn’t comb my hair’, whatever.

The number of times I had chickened out in my life – countless.

Yet, this time was slightly different. I felt a real will that I must make my move. After all, this is Sumiko – the only person in my life I’d call myself a fan to.

My mind raced through the topics I could raise. I had flashbacks on how my conversations with attractive girls always seemed to end in awkward silence.

I always blamed it on the fact that I could not keep my cool when it comes to attractive girls. After all, my conversations with non-attractive girls were normally perfect. I could even appear charming.

So the strategy was simple: keep cool, just talk.

If only it were really that simple.

My heart started pounding harder each time I verged nearer to making my move. Each time it pounded, I had second thoughts. Each time I had second thoughts, those excuses came to mind.

After several cycles, I decided. I’ll talk to her the next time we have a media reception.

But I reminded myself, don’t be stupid, it could be never.

And on and on went this cycle of brazening myself, chickening out and finding excuses. Until, to my horror, Sumiko went over to shake the host’s hand.

Obviously, she was thanking him... which meant she was leaving!

It was truly now or never.

Just when I thought it would go down as another episode of my chickening out, Yvonne came to my rescue. I had cunningly informed her how much I was a fan of Sumiko when she said she knew her. It worked. Yvonne introduced us.

Oh my gosh. I shook Sumiko’s hand.

I smiled and told Sumiko – “I was just telling Yvonne how much I enjoy reading your articles”, to which Sumiko smiled and replied – “Thank you”.

Yes, Sumiko talked to ME!

I was exhilarated.

Then, in the same moment, I noticed Sumiko had to leave. She was gazing around, she stopped standing still, and she held her bag tighter (it was at this moment that I made the realisation that women, when they intend to leave the place, always seem to hold on to their bag more firmly).

I felt a tinge of disappointment. It looked like my brief encounter with Sumiko was about to end.

I didn’t even get the chance to exchange name cards.

Suddenly, an idea struck. Why don’t I write to Sumiko? I had wanted to do it all the time, why not now? After all, Sumiko’s email address is printed on LifeStyle!

I felt a sense of relief. As always, it feels good to know that a nice experience has not ended.

So Sumiko left. My afternoon of excitement came to an end.

But I wasted no time in writing an email. I sent it as soon as I got back to office.

It was a carefully worded email, intended to flatter despite my protestations to the contrary, intended to tell Sumiko that here was a guy who loved her writing, and perhaps, intended to convey a hint of an attraction.

About 5 in the evening, Sumiko replied! It made my day, and week.

Or rather, it occupied my mind for the whole day, and week. For I could not concentrate on doing much else.

The second email took me a few days to write but again, it was carefully worded. If the first time I was scared that my mail would be deleted as a spam, this time I was scared that my mail would not be replied to. After all, I was writing to a celebrity with presumably little time.

So, the intent was different. I wrote my mail with the aim of eliciting a reply.

4 days have passed since, and I am still waiting.

And since I am waiting, I’ve decided to pen down my thoughts and emotions in this experience.

It’s strange how a 30 year old man, attached for 5 years, mature and stable, can be awestruck by a certain one.

Sumiko wasn’t a ravishing beauty, not supermodel like, neither outspoken nor flirtatious.

I felt no sense of eroticism, either.

But I was surely attracted. There was beauty in her simplicity. She looked young yet mature, nothing like the celebrity socialite I thought she would be.

Perhaps it was the sense of connection. The sense that I could understand her writing, and the belief she could share mine.

In my younger days, I called girls like her the sort where your instinct is to hold her hands and hug her, not pin her down on bed.

So how long would I wait for Sumiko's reply?

I don’t know. It’s been 4 days. Maybe by the end of this week, I would have given up waiting.

Or maybe, it would be the end of the month before the attraction fizzles off.

Or it may well be at the end of the year.

I don’t know. I’m counting.