The Truth about Workspouse
The idea of a workspouse is an interesting one. It refers to a very close colleague, one whom you share your life with, one who has an intuitive understanding of the pressures, interactions, personalities and underlying narratives of the workplace. It involves intimacy in a non-sexual, non-romantic way.
Really? The argument is almost an extension of whether men and women can just be friends.
The idea alone reassures some that the relationships they are having at work are normal, accepted, that there’s nothing wrong with it.
Some even say it increases productivity at work, making the workplace a more exciting place to go to.
But there is no scientific evidence for workspouses. Whether it is indeed a different construct, meaningfully different from a romantic relationship, we don’t know. In theory and in words, there can be such a thing. In real life and emotional terms, it may not exist.
21st century parity between men and women at work probably makes such relationships more plausible than in the past, when men usually were the bosses and women the subordinates, the subservient ones. Parity gives rise to peers – in the full sense of the word: equals, i.e. nothing higher or lower, nothing more or less.
But then, I think workspouse is just a way of side-tracking the fact that people like, or get attracted to, more than one person.
There is a threshold of liking and attraction: above that threshold, you are attracted. Below that threshold, you are not attracted. There is always more than one person above the threshold in any individual’s life. The spouse is, for sure. The workspouse too, as well as several or many other friends of the opposite sex.
The point is, human beings always like more than one person.
And dare I say, some may even love more than one person, although the threshold for love is far higher than the threshold for like.
But this is not socially acceptable to say. That’s why no one openly says or admits it.
Workspouse is merely a more acceptable way to explain the fact that one can like, or indeed love, more than just his or her spouse.
So yes, workspouses do exist. But it is hardly true that there is no romance involved.
Really? The argument is almost an extension of whether men and women can just be friends.
The idea alone reassures some that the relationships they are having at work are normal, accepted, that there’s nothing wrong with it.
Some even say it increases productivity at work, making the workplace a more exciting place to go to.
But there is no scientific evidence for workspouses. Whether it is indeed a different construct, meaningfully different from a romantic relationship, we don’t know. In theory and in words, there can be such a thing. In real life and emotional terms, it may not exist.
21st century parity between men and women at work probably makes such relationships more plausible than in the past, when men usually were the bosses and women the subordinates, the subservient ones. Parity gives rise to peers – in the full sense of the word: equals, i.e. nothing higher or lower, nothing more or less.
But then, I think workspouse is just a way of side-tracking the fact that people like, or get attracted to, more than one person.
There is a threshold of liking and attraction: above that threshold, you are attracted. Below that threshold, you are not attracted. There is always more than one person above the threshold in any individual’s life. The spouse is, for sure. The workspouse too, as well as several or many other friends of the opposite sex.
The point is, human beings always like more than one person.
And dare I say, some may even love more than one person, although the threshold for love is far higher than the threshold for like.
But this is not socially acceptable to say. That’s why no one openly says or admits it.
Workspouse is merely a more acceptable way to explain the fact that one can like, or indeed love, more than just his or her spouse.
So yes, workspouses do exist. But it is hardly true that there is no romance involved.
posted by mindofminds at
3:57 pm
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